The Kingdom of Telia is a small, cultured nation, notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working population of 36 million Telians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 28.8%.

The Telian economy, worth 2.36 trillion solids a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 65,586 solids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Government election advice reads like a restaurant menu, intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, and when shaking hands with foreign leaders Leader wears an armoured gauntlet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telia's national animal is the great skua.

Telia is ranked 83,267^th in the world and 1,108^th in the West Pacific for Safest, scoring 90.18 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.