The Wallachian Kingdom of Santa-Barbara is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Ven Draga with an even hand, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ritual sacrifices, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 5.739 billion Santa-Barbarans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Wallachia. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Santa-Barbaran economy, worth a remarkable 1,089 trillion Soliduses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 189,869 Soliduses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors, farting etiquette is taught in schools, ignorance is considered a politically desirable quality, and foreigners can tell the popularity of Santa-Barbaran landmarks by the size of their ash dunes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Santa-Barbara's national animal is the Aurochs, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Melkite Catholicism.

Santa-Barbara is ranked 12,897^th in the world and 52^nd in Fifth Empire for Highest Average Incomes, with 189,869.89 Standard Monetary Units.