The Kingdom of Old World Order is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Darius Banovic I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 7.708 billion Croats of old world are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Delminium. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Croatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,133 trillion Kunas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 147,028 Kunas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Printing ink yields Roman Catholicism's biggest return on investment, school guidance counselors recommend monastic vows as an alternative to higher education, a popular saying is "don't do the crime if you can't smash the lime(stone)", and war criminals are given full state funerals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old World Order's national animal is the Dinaric Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Old World Order is ranked 275,991^st in the world and 1,392^nd in Europe for Nicest Citizens, with 0.51 average smiles per day.