The Federation of Krimera is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Supreme Leader Viktor Kruschev with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, enslaved workforce, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.549 billion Krimerans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kremaras. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Krimeran economy, worth a remarkable 8,736 trillion Exarch Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 561,853 Exarch Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Over-inflated fears of a "Y1" bug have turned humble IT workers into millionaires (Krimera has found 4 easter eggs), the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, internet moderator is one of the most popular jobs among the nation's more socially awkward citizens, and citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Krimera's national animal is the Titanus Ursus, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Krimera is ranked 293,144^th in the world and 346^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Primitive, scoring -1259.47 on the Scary Big Number Scale.