The Republic of Kaias is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Gabriela Gonzalez with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory military service, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, cheerful population of 8.475 billion Kaiasians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kai City. The average income tax rate is 88.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kaiasian economy, worth a remarkable 1,265 trillion Kais a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 149,321 Kais, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public buses smell like litter boxes, heartbroken parents are urged to "smile for the camera", children wondering what happens to pets after they die are shown where the compost heap is, and nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaias's national animal is the Kaiasian Sea Otter, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheism.

Kaias is ranked 71,673^rd in the world and 21^st in Sancturia for Highest Drug Use, scoring 233.37 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.