The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, avant-garde cinema, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.361 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonic economy, worth an astonishing 12,899 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is a breathtaking 552,200 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military invades any neighboring nation with the gall to criticize its policies, betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant, captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, and slow dancing is made trickier when Auntie Edna insists on standing between the couple's arms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is the Path of Oniton.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 6,804^th in the world and 264^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 13,296.34 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.