The United States of The New Oceanic States is a very large, cultured nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 185 million New Oceanic Statesians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.0%.

The frighteningly efficient New Oceanic Statesian economy, worth 15.3 trillion Oceanic dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is 82,522 Oceanic dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse, anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit, savvy nightclub-goers know that structurally unsound venues sell the cheapest drinks, and all you have to do is pray to get into The New Oceanic States. Crime is relatively low. The New Oceanic States's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

The New Oceanic States is ranked 53,594^th in the world and 1,635^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 4,084.22 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.