The Hidden Pirate Cove of Chan Island is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Chandler Bing with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, unlimited-speed roads, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed population of 17.078 billion Chan Islanders have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Channing Townton. The average income tax rate is 88.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Chan Islander economy, worth a remarkable 1,538 trillion Shiny Things a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,082 Shiny Things, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Piracy is the nation's most popular pastime, games of cops and robbers typically end in at least one fatal shooting, official Sermon-Free Zones are set-up around the nation's hotels, and the banshee wail foretells skies of death. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Chan Island's national animal is the Axe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Money.

Chan Island is ranked 29,482^nd in the world and 143^rd in Forest for Most Cultured, scoring 79 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.