The Welcoming Nation of Stevist Guam is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Greatkitteh with an iron fist, and notable for its vat-grown people, complete absence of social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.233 billion Steguanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liberty. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Stevist Guamian economy, worth a remarkable 7,044 trillion Yen a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 462,460 Yen, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Steguanians are unrivalled in obstacle courses, the study of quantum physics has been outlawed for fear of accidentally causing the end of the world, foreign heads of state have taken out restraining orders against Stevist Guamian ambassadors, and the nation has always been at war with Moltovea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stevist Guam's national animal is the Otters, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Gods and Goddesses of the Pantheon.

Stevist Guam is ranked 2,613^th in the world and 3^rd in Horizon for Fattest Citizens, with 40.4 Obesity Rate.