The Dictatorship of Samulate is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 668 million Samulateans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pakeda. The average income tax rate is 70.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Samulatean economy, worth 89.2 trillion Rand a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 133,460 Rand, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Those who sing the national anthem off-key have the key thrown away, the nation sends criminals home to think about what they did, Pakeda's back alleys are rife with sausage eating, and diplomatic missions are often mistaken as declarations of war. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Samulate's national animal is the Cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Samulate is ranked 8,757^th in the world and 116^th in Europeia for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 67.49 on the Kitten Softness Rating.