The Socialist Federation of Malvakia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Th'adaam Lini with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.527 billion Malvakians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Koil-Verdos. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Malvakian economy, worth a remarkable 4,402 trillion Velkois a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 225,452 Velkois, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, the government has declared its commitment to multilateralism, and frat-house partying has become the national pastime. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malvakia's national animal is the macawraptor, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Malvakia is ranked 2,292^nd in the world and 45^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3,436.21 pounds of wildlife per square mile.