The Holy Empire of Paladani is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Supreme Bishop with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, devout population of 2.913 billion Paladanians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Holyland. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Paladanian economy, worth 439 trillion Paladanian Prayers a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 150,925 Paladanian Prayers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government says only criminals harp on about "innocent until proven guilty", immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups, the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses, and parents are shocked to find out that having kids costs money. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paladani's national animal is the Trinity Lamb, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Paladani is ranked 4,141^st in the world and 213^th in The North Pacific for Safest, scoring 133.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.