The Theocracy of Goikaiva is a very large, orderly nation, notable for its public floggings, ban on automobiles, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 435 million Goikens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Goikaivan economy, worth 10.4 trillion Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 23,862 Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The land is no place for fish, the bayonet is cutting-edge technology, school uniforms are compulsory, and a National Academy regulates grammar and usage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goikaiva's national animal is the Hrazjev, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Goikaiva is ranked 256,125^th in the world and 727^th in Horizon for Fattest Citizens, with 7.21 Obesity Rate.