The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, daily referendums, and vat-grown people. The compassionate population of 18.95 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogania. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,954 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 155,884 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", and citizens who leave the nation for work are instantly charged with treason. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 3,631^st in the world and 87^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 124.96 law-abiding acts per hour.