The Confederacy of Kawastyselir is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Web of Chiefs with a fair hand, and renowned for its smutty television, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.224 billion Kawas are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, liberal, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Waysir. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish Kawan economy, worth a remarkable 1,492 trillion Kastels a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. Average income is 67,169 Kastels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, bad punctuation has come to a full stop, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in The Web of Chiefs's bedroom, and arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kawastyselir's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Kawastyselir is ranked 2,160^th in the world and 19^th in Forest for Lowest Crime Rates, with 142.31 law-abiding acts per hour.