The Democratic States of Thomas Cole is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Thich Naht Han with an even hand, and notable for its punitive income tax rates. The quiet, industrious population of 24.985 billion Thomas Coleans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Welfare, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Taoipolis. The average income tax rate is 58.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Thomas Colean economy, worth 473 trillion coles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 18,949 coles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Girls who wear lipstick are berated for pandering to male gazes, commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains, the government mails weekly updates on the new anti-junk mail laws to every citizen, and elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thomas Cole's national animal is the tomtom and its national religion is Sweden's Borg.

Thomas Cole is ranked 34,650^th in the world and 1,910^th in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 2,492.77 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.