The Republic of Nordwald is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bundeskanzler Lutz Ostwalder with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, pith helmet sales, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.875 billion Nordwaldians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Südwaldstadt. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordwaldian economy, worth a remarkable 1,159 trillion Walders a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 197,321 Walders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Members of majority races are forced out of their homes to make way for Bigtopians, a weakened police force struggles to maintain law and order, politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, and real power lies not in the debating room but with those who decide what is debated. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordwald's national animal is the Baummarder, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nordwald is ranked 273,630^th in the world and 5,962^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -8.94 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.