The Kingdom of The Beachcomber is a titanic, pleasant nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, zero percent divorce rate, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed population of 11.434 billion Beachcomberians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded individuals keep a keen eye out for any attempt to organize such a thing, and ruthlessly crush it. Income tax is unheard of.

The large but inefficient Beachcomberian economy, worth 322 trillion Spintrias a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Gambling, Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 28,202 Spintrias, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", the nation's once beautiful countryside has turned brown as farmers spray potent pesticides, and nobody knows why the caged Crow sings. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. The Beachcomber's national animal is the Crow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

The Beachcomber is ranked 268,135^th in the world and 32^nd in The Mansus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -3.16 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.