The Republic of Teink is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Tein with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 7.061 billion Teinkians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teink City. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Teinkian economy, worth a remarkable 1,027 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 145,518 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, aid workers deliver life-saving supplies with a devious gleam in their eyes, and Tein is considering changing the Teinkian flag to one with more glitter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teink's national animal is the falcon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Teink is ranked 320,230^th in the world and 17,258^th in Balder for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 20.72 on the Bus Surprisal Index.