The フェデレーション of Nowa Europa is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Prezydent Iga Świątek with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 13.516 billion Nowa Europeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silesia. The average income tax rate is 39.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Nowa Europan economy, worth a remarkable 4,818 trillion banknotes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 356,504 banknotes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

East Lebatuckese luxury goods are plundered by the working class of Nowa Europa, the government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix, high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers, and government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities. Crime is well under control. Nowa Europa's national animal is the Water Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nowa Europa is ranked 269,199^th in the world and 5,071^st in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 7.84 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.