The United States of Simonation is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Donald Trump with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, digital currency, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 46.492 billion Simonis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miami. The average income tax rate is 97.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Simoni economy, worth a remarkable 5,601 trillion United States dollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 120,489 United States dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions, the act of reporting blasphemy is known as 'Orthodoxxing', dealers go from pushing drugs to pushing up daisies, and class boundaries start and end with the firmness of local tomatoes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Simonation's national animal is the bald eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Simonation is ranked 2,901^st in the world and 2^nd in Bigtopia for Safest, scoring 137.07 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.