The Colony of Muffin Heeler is a huge, socially progressive nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 260 million Muffin Heelerians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 21.7%.

The Muffin Heelerian economy, worth 11.1 trillion Oranges a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 42,564 Oranges, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling, local mafias have a tough time disposing of dead snitches without catching the attention of recycling authorities, mandatory electronic currency is a boon for credit card companies and government surveillance, and the same 260 social media bloggers always loudly and immediately agree with Leader's every word on Twitcher. Crime is moderate. Muffin Heeler's national animal is the Eastern box turtle , which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Muffin Heeler is ranked 183,637^th in the world and 70^th in Commonwealth Of Orange Nations for Safest, scoring 54.69 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.