The Matriarchy of Lahmere is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Empress Inge Aldfrith with an even hand, and renowned for its lack of airports, complete lack of prisons, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 27.655 billion Lahmereans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anedale Harbour. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Lahmerean economy, worth a remarkable 5,807 trillion thalers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 209,984 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens have voted the song "Empress Inge Aldfrith Smells Like A Musk Deer" as their new national anthem, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, the government is proud to report that ten percent of all tax revenue goes to funding suspected terrorist organizations, and protests are legal but strictly supervised. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lahmere's national animal is the musk deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lahmere is ranked 331,845^th in the world and 154^th in Equilism for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 15.67 on the Bus Surprisal Index.