The Republic of Kelvenya is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Muhaggifa Yali with an even hand, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 5.505 billion Kelvenyans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yatibia. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kelvenyan economy, worth 626 trillion Kelvenyan Youms a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,746 Kelvenyan Youms, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak, trained plumber-burglars will clean out your blocked pipes and your jewellery boxes, Kelvenya's Medieval Faire is renowned as one of the best in the region, and violence is always the answer in Kelvenya. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelvenya's national animal is the Sutiuh Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Buhaidiyya.

Kelvenya is ranked 319,229^th in the world and 232^nd in Fifth Empire for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -11.53 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.