The Empire of Joplos is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Supreme-Commander Astar with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.242 billion Joplosians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The relatively small, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of joblos aureus. The average income tax rate is 18.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Joplosian economy, worth 39.5 trillion Honor Aureuses a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 31,827 Honor Aureuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Safety warnings are prohibited lest they give people ideas, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, Supreme-Commander Astar claims to be the epitome of family values, and the richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Joplos's national animal is the Peruvian Black Spider Monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Order Of The Lusty.

Joplos is ranked 135,259^th in the world and 1,227^th in The Communist Bloc for Safest, scoring 67.12 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.