The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.019 billion PlanetMercuries are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 3,047 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 337,901 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The treehouse in Cat Park is the tallest building in PlanetMercury, friendly fire incidents usually result in severe burns, the death penalty has been reintroduced, and country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 15,200^th in the world and 564^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 9,182.96 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.