The Armed Republic of Eplijan is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Overseer Jefferson Hamilton with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, cynical population of 4.898 billion Eplijanites are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boulder Cove. The average income tax rate is 51.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Eplijani economy, worth 542 trillion Arwings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,806 Arwings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, prosecutors are tucked into bed by the household police officer, and apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eplijan's national animal is the Common ringed plover, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lutheranism.

Eplijan is ranked 70,414^th in the world and 3,564^th in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,449.14 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.