The Empire of Cassinea is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Johnny Bingus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.36 billion Cassineans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anvil. The average income tax rate is 79.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Cassinean economy, worth 398 trillion Crowns a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 118,574 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Paper and ink publications are subsidised by the government to keep them in the black, the dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, and the news is showing footage of Johnny Bingus bullying an old man to the point of tears. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cassinea's national animal is the Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Bingustry.

Cassinea is ranked 21,645^th in the world and 35^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Corrupt Governments, with 94.7 kickbacks per hour.