The Empire of Cuchimilco is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Emperor Cuyu the Hatunuc with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 3.307 billion Cuchimilcans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Education, Public Transport, and Welfare also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mochica. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.5%.

The Cuchimilcan economy, worth 139 trillion Potes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is dominated by the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Pizza Delivery, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 42,193 Potes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 282,984 per year while the poor average 2,361, a ratio of 119 to 1.

Cuchimilco has designated Mochica as its capital city, Emperor Cuyu the Hatunuc has just been declared ruler of Cuchimilco in an international press conference, and the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cuchimilco's national animal is the Wiri Wiri, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Cuchimilco is ranked 78,183^rd in the world and 171^st in Horizon for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 3,004.8 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.