The Confederated Fortress-Cities of Artyolae is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Alesi Artyo with an even hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, daily referendums, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.318 billion Artyolaeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fortress-City of Artyo. The average income tax rate is 91.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Artyolaean economy, worth 987 trillion Octs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 134,891 Octs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rumor has it that Alesi Artyo has won three lotteries in a row, religious citizens are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, one can wake up in Artyolae and have breakfast in Bigtopia, and being Alesi Artyo has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs. Crime is totally unknown. Artyolae's national animal is the Horned Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Satanic Temple.

Artyolae is ranked 270,558^th in the world and 5,858^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 0.76 flags saluted per person per day.