The Theocracy of Baptist is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 6.037 billion Baptistians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Spirituality, although Education, Defense, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.4%.

The strong Baptistian economy, worth 373 trillion Pieceses of Silver a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 61,847 Pieceses of Silver, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 381,413 per year while the poor average 4,356, a ratio of 87.5 to 1.

Victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, the police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, and the only science is political science. Crime is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Baptist's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Baptist is ranked 10,870^th in the world and 1^st in Baptist for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 114.3 on the Bus Surprisal Index.