The Kingdom of Balsland is a very large, genial nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 349 million Balslandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.0%.

The strong Balslandian economy, worth 18.1 trillion kronor a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,751 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year, nihilistic thrill-seekers claim that suicide by roller coaster is the ultimate life experience, and frisbee games on college quadrangles are grounds for expulsion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balsland's national animal is the Homo Saipan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Balsland is ranked 138,595^th in the world and 678^th in the Outback for Fattest Citizens, with 9.98 Obesity Rate.