The Free Land of Zmiinyi island is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its aversion to nipples, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.027 billion Zmiinyi islandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 57.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Zmiinyi islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,192 trillion golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 132,091 golds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 420,139 per year while the poor average 31,617, a ratio of 13.3 to 1.

Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Zmiinyi islandian Liberator", modesty is treated with the side-eye, and there's sophisticated talk of revolution within the ever-expanding mining colonies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zmiinyi island's national animal is the Elephant, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zmiinyi island is ranked 44,533^rd in the world and 3^rd in Ukraine for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 2,123 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.