The Keeper of the Dead of Xiaomei is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Xiaomei with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, prohibition of alcohol, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.721 billion Xiaomeians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grendel. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 93.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Xiaomeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,595 trillion Yuan a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 176,301 Yuan, with the richest citizens earning 8.2 times as much as the poorest.

Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park, corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics, the 'Half King of Maxtopia' exhibit is the least popular amongst museum-goers, and orange juice has been renamed yellow juice. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Xiaomei's national animal is the Ghost, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Xiaomei is ranked 325,913^th in the world and 17^th in Haiku for Safest, scoring 4.69 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.