The Holy Empire of Waldorff is a colossal, cultured nation, remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, compulsory military service, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.805 billion Waldorffians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 86.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Waldorffian economy, worth 881 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 231,657 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Pinkie promises are a matter of life and death, tipsy fans frequently invite themselves to the board meetings of sports clubs, lawyers turn down litigation cases and corporate work in order to focus on lucrative public defence work, and a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Waldorff's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Waldorff is ranked 15,461^st in the world and 1^st in Starland for Most Cultured, scoring 96 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.