The Holy Lucky Pink Christmas of Woodlands is a huge, socially progressive nation, notable for its state-planned economy, soft-spoken computers, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 753 million Cyrinics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Healthcare, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Murky Camp Harbour. The average income tax rate is 78.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cyrinic economy, worth 99.5 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 132,158 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Woodlands will pay them to stop, the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies", sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, and elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Woodlands's national animal is the Rudolph bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Woodlands is ranked 12,282^nd in the world and 245^th in Europe for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.76 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.