The Republic of Ulm 396 is a massive, genial nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The compassionate, devout population of 1.464 billion Ulm 396ians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 54.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ulm 396ian economy, worth 185 trillion Ducats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 126,526 Ducats, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

A ban on unsolicited cold calling in all forms is in effect, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews, money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them, and domestic fishermen fly the Ulm 396ian flag out of fear of being blown up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ulm 396's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ulm 396 is ranked 42,261^st in the world and 151^st in Swabian autonomous region for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 2,196.03 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.