The Kingdom of Ubani is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by King Jeh with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 18.451 billion Ubanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jumamosi. The average income tax rate is 82.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ubanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,048 trillion Dollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,029 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There is an abondance of ackawi and zartschmelzend in every Ubanian grocery store, soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers, public hospital staff roll their eyes at anything less than a heart attack, and kids these days know how to throw a proper punch. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ubani's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ubani is ranked 279,545^th in the world and 106^th in Gay for Most Primitive, scoring -335.57 on the Scary Big Number Scale.