The Republic of The Quickster is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by The Chief with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The democratic population of 6.759 billion Quicksterians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bikini Bottom. The average income tax rate is 44.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Quicksterian economy, worth 336 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 49,747 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, and mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Quickster's national animal is the Oyster and its national religion is Justice.

The Quickster is ranked 259,563^rd in the world and 2^nd in Barbados for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 27.16 on the Bus Surprisal Index.