The Diagnosed Schizo of The Pyros is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Johan Zehpir with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.183 billion Pyrs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Corda Dracon. The average income tax rate is 68.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Pyrian economy, worth a remarkable 1,906 trillion Koltons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 207,611 Koltons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

The tobacco industry has burnt out, it takes several hours to shuffle the national deck, patch v22.1705 - all developers are now paid for work, and senior professors are allowed to skip the wait at soup kitchens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Pyros's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cult Mechanicus.

The Pyros is ranked 300,904^th in the world and 984^th in Carcassonne for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring zero on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.