The Ultimate Defensive Playmaker of The Keiselmalu is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, ruled by Broy Keiselmalu with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, public floggings, and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 6.94 billion Keiselmaluans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winston. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.8%.

The strong Keiselmaluan economy, worth 445 trillion big plays a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Gambling, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 64,077 big plays, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Tourists visit The Keiselmalu to mass-moon Keiselmaluan politicians, there have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons', politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, and feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Keiselmalu's national animal is the tasmanian devil and its national religion is One for the Thumb.

The Keiselmalu is ranked 220,985^th in the world and 325^th in The Yamada Ryo Star Warriors for Most Secular, with 14.84 Atheism Rate.