The Kingdom of Spestania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Kass von Wagner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and infamous sell-swords. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.907 billion Spestanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Konowazia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 57.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Spestanian economy, worth 373 trillion Aurums a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 128,457 Aurums, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

Spestanian tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, Spestanian watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, administrative districts are increasingly defined by their taste in housing architecture, and the airship business has been driven out of the country by strict regulations and high fines. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spestania's national animal is the Peacock, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Secular State.

Spestania is ranked 74,488^th in the world and 262^nd in the Outback for Highest Poor Incomes, with 40,475.89 Standard Monetary Units.