The Washing Machine Theft Victim of Somewheretopia is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Daniel II with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 942 million Somewheretopians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cairo. The average income tax rate is 42.4%.

The strong Somewheretopian economy, worth 64.4 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 68,352 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times, any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist, one tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber, and petting zoos have loose fingers strewn about. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Somewheretopia's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Somewheretopia is ranked 14,074^th in the world and 16^th in The UMNS for Nicest Citizens, with 26.14 average smiles per day.