The Empire of Schlossberg is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, parental licensing program, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 742 million Schlossbergians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schlossintag. The average income tax rate is 64.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Schlossbergian economy, worth 56.4 trillion Scholssentags a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 75,980 Scholssentags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Cubicles often double as graves as citizens literally work themselves to death, fat-shaming is now public policy, newborns are being raised as mindless killing machines, and most of the population has had bad experiences with hoes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schlossberg's national animal is the Ram, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Schlossberg is ranked 91,679^th in the world and 473^rd in the Outback for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,282.71 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.