The Republic of Republic of Dithmarschen is a huge, safe nation, notable for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 996 million Republic of Dithmarschenians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 62.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Republic of Dithmarschenian economy, worth 102 trillion Ducats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,167 Ducats, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 308,580 per year while the poor average 26,975, a ratio of 11.4 to 1.

Parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, crops are flattened as farmers bludgeon insects to death, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, and female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Republic of Dithmarschen's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Republic of Dithmarschen is ranked 100,047^th in the world and 273^rd in Novaya Zemlya for Safest, scoring 83.32 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.