The Democratic People's Republic of Quelsh is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Quelshian People's Assembly with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and frequent executions. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 21.964 billion Quelshians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Defense, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District 0. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Quelshian economy, worth a remarkable 3,697 trillion Quelsh Units a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 168,337 Quelsh Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The general public only knows their favorite politician's first name, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, nations that kill a Quelshian can expect a strongly worded letter, and populations of two-headed Crocodiles have been found around recently-uncovered archaeological sites. Crime is totally unknown. Quelsh's national animal is the Crocodile, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Quelsh is ranked 287,680^th in the world and 10^th in Australialia for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.44 kickbacks per hour.