The Republic of Panama is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Juan Carlos Varela with an even hand, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, public floggings, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 27.973 billion Panamanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Panama City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Panaman economy, worth a remarkable 6,045 trillion Balboas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 216,128 Balboas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,958,578 per year while the poor average 2,804, a ratio of 698 to 1.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, it is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams, and Panaman actors literally work from cradle to grave. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Panama's national animal is the Fish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Roman Catholic.

Panama is ranked 329,029^th in the world and 1,408^th in Artificial Solar System for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -15.49 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.