The Republic of Old Gaffer is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 7.213 billion Old Gafferians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.4%.

The strong Old Gafferian economy, worth 364 trillion marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 50,470 marks, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 325,289 per year while the poor average 3,163, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Old Gaffer's national animal is the lion, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Old Gaffer is ranked 84,347^th in the world and 3^rd in The Shire for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,670.75 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.