The Great State of Linhestein is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Józef Hohenzelern with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, infamous sell-swords, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 12.273 billion Linhesteinians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hohenzel. The average income tax rate is 76.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Linhesteinian economy, worth a remarkable 2,840 trillion Linhesters a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 231,447 Linhesters, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, torture is illegal, the nation threatens sanctions on islands only visible at low tide, and internet sites are legally unable to stop their users from posting pornography. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Linhestein's national animal is the Kestrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Linhestein is ranked 323,695^th in the world and 17,450^th in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 12.23 on the Kitten Softness Rating.