The Bodyguard of Lain Paterson is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Lain Paterson with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 11.1 billion Lain Patersonians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nijisanji. The average income tax rate is 55.2%.

The powerhouse Lain Patersonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,185 trillion yen a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 106,765 yen, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, the act of reporting blasphemy is known as 'Orthodoxxing', corporate lawyers are switching careers to the more lucrative field of green politics, and suit-clad businessmen have been taking advantage of the relaxed welfare qualifications by shopping with food stamps. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lain Paterson's national animal is the shark, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Eden.

Lain Paterson is ranked 228,336^th in the world and 3,422^nd in Remembrance for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 210.24 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.